I was a Sweet Transvestite
I wasn’t really a transvestite, and I have rarely been called sweet, but I did perform the song a few times. My High School had a school dance tradition. Word was it started some time in the early 90s or perhaps even as far back as the late 80s. Ancient times. Every school dance someone would lip sync Sweet Transvestite and then they would play the Time Warp and we would all do the Time Warp.
For my Junior year I did Sweet Transvestite every dance I attended. Senior year I did about half of them. I split up the Senior year with other people. Each time was fun but the first time. Well, you always remember the first time.
Wow. That was lame. Let us forget I used that line. I’ve had a couple of glasses of wine.
The first time I did Sweet Transvestite was a bit of a production. I don’t recall exactly how the decision came about that I would do it but it was decided that I would. That was a special time, early Junior year. I was still under 200lbs, my hair was long and at its general peak of awesome, and my leather biker jacket was only about a year old.
The afternoon leading up to the dance I adjourned to the Biology lab with friends Sophie and Treyja. There were other people there but as I recall it was the giggling team of Sophie and Treyja that were in charge of my transformation. In the biology lab the make-up was applied and I was squeezed into Sophie’s mom’s bustier.
Girls in High School seemed preoccupied with putting makeup on me. I let them on occasion because I knew a lot of forceful girls and I liked the attention. Also, it’s not like they could put that much on. The beard I possess now I’ve had since roughly 13. Oh, I’ve shaved it off a few times but it always comes back. They also seemed excited about the bustier.
I was on board with the bustier but I was weirdly uncomfortable with putting it on around the people there. I was fine with wearing it in front of the whole school but not totally comfortable with putting it on in front of my friends. So, I ducked into the side storage room for the lab to squeeze into the bustier. Of course, my discomfort was funny so there was peeking at me through the window in the door and giggling. I assume this was for no reason other than that I was uncomfortable and that was amusing.
The way I remember it I looked pretty good in that bustier. I’d like to keep remembering it that way. Please don’t burst my bubble.
I spent the bulk of the dance hanging out with my jacket zipped up, then came the song. I got the word that it was coming up and maneuvered to the head of the dance floor. The song started and my heart raced and I stepped out. I stripped off the jacket and I bucked and gyrated and I fucking rocked that song. Again, this is what I remember and if that wasn’t the way it was, don’t burst my bubble damn it.
The thrill of doing Sweet Transvestite had really nothing to do with the song for me. It’s not a particularly good song. It’s fun, sure, but not really good. I enjoy Rocky Horror but I am not in love with the movie. I have never been to a proper showing and I’m not much of one for going to audience participation style shows. I definitely am not inclined to putting on a costume to see a movie. The thrill of doing Sweet Transvestite for me was the attention. A bunch of my attractive High School classmates lined up on the floor watching me perform and seemingly hanging on my every lip-synced word and awkward gyration. That was awesome.
After that first time how could I not want to do it again? The bustier did not make a comeback as I recall. Though, there were a couple of sequin dresses.
